25:I[56264,["/_next/static/chunks/3fntmmi971322.js","/_next/static/chunks/1ymt1shyhmu-4.js","/_next/static/chunks/291ciwmgtp_xc.js","/_next/static/chunks/2owa30hnifmhr.js","/_next/static/chunks/2tie5rqwdsi89.js","/_next/static/chunks/2dnipz2c0692b.js","/_next/static/chunks/1mf5iq195c2sn.js","/_next/static/chunks/03wn0-bzh3abk.js","/_next/static/chunks/0_02m0ghanddv.js"],"GuestHistoryRecorder"] 26:I[3004,["/_next/static/chunks/3fntmmi971322.js","/_next/static/chunks/1ymt1shyhmu-4.js","/_next/static/chunks/291ciwmgtp_xc.js","/_next/static/chunks/2owa30hnifmhr.js","/_next/static/chunks/2tie5rqwdsi89.js","/_next/static/chunks/2dnipz2c0692b.js","/_next/static/chunks/1mf5iq195c2sn.js","/_next/static/chunks/03wn0-bzh3abk.js","/_next/static/chunks/0_02m0ghanddv.js"],"EmailPreview"] 29:I[27201,["/_next/static/chunks/3fntmmi971322.js","/_next/static/chunks/1ymt1shyhmu-4.js","/_next/static/chunks/291ciwmgtp_xc.js","/_next/static/chunks/2owa30hnifmhr.js"],"IconMark"] 27:T590e,

Growing up, I was really good at becoming who I thought other people needed me to be.

To fit in, to belong, to perform how I thought I should. I wore the right mask for the room I was in.

Nine years ago, I wrote The Mask of Masculinity about the different masks men wear and why we wear them. Looking back at my own life, I could see how many versions of myself I created to fit in and belong.

The problem was that after wearing them for so long, I didn't always know who I was without them.

This kept me stuck in the same patterns and identity longer than I wanted.

This week on The School of Greatness, I spoke with therapist and best-selling author Kier Gaines, who wrote a new book called It All Starts When You Do.

We talked about what happens when the person you're showing the world doesn't match what you're experiencing on the inside.

Kier said something I wish someone had told me earlier:

"You haven't practiced being who you truly are."

Think about how much effort you've spent becoming a version of yourself for other people.

Yet you haven't given yourself the same grace to practice being who you authentically are.

Kier says you prove your identity through your actions.

If you say family matters to you, are you making time for them when work gets busy? Are you actually present when you're with them?

If you say you're generous, are you giving your time and attention when there's nothing in it for you?

If you want to be someone you can trust, are you keeping the promises you make to yourself when nobody else knows whether you follow through?

So much of our identity becomes something we try to figure out in our heads.

Kier gives us a different question: "Who am I practicing being?"

You build trust with yourself by proving something consistently over time.

You don't wake up one morning and suddenly become genuine, generous, present, or trustworthy. You practice showing up that way until your actions give you evidence that this is who you are.

That's different from performing another character.

If what you're showing on the outside doesn't match what's happening on the inside, you're still performing.

The goal is to close the gap between who you say you are and how you show up.

Every time you tell the truth when it would be easier to perform, you get a rep.

Every time your actions match what you say matters to you, you get a rep.

Every time you show up as yourself instead of who you think someone else wants you to be, you get a rep.

Practice being yourself this week.

If you want to fully understand how to get unstuck, listen to the full conversation with Kier Gaines here.

Thank you for being here,

Lewis

Check Out The Full Episode

P.S. Have you checked out my Greatness Playbook on Manifestation? It's five practical ways to turn what you want into what you live.

BECOME PART OF OUR COMMUNITY

Greatness Media, 5200 Lankershim Blvd, North Hollywood, CA 91601
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28:T143f,Growing up, I was really good at becoming who I thought other people needed me to be. To fit in, to belong, to perform how I thought I should. I wore the right mask for the room I was in. Nine years ago, I wrote The Mask of Masculinity ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/e0hph7h7r3rx8pu8h2/aHR0cHM6Ly9hLmNvL2QvMGlvcFBkMUk= )about the different masks men wear and why we wear them. Looking back at my own life, I could see how many versions of myself I created to fit in and belong. The problem was that after wearing them for so long, I didn't always know who I was without them. This kept me stuck in the same patterns and identity longer than I wanted. This week on The School of Greatness, I spoke with therapist and best-selling author Kier Gaines, who wrote a new book called It All Starts When You Do. We talked about what happens when the person you're showing the world doesn't match what you're experiencing on the inside. Kier said something I wish someone had told me earlier: "You haven't practiced being who you truly are." Think about how much effort you've spent becoming a version of yourself for other people. Yet you haven't given yourself the same grace to practice being who you authentically are. Kier says you prove your identity through your actions. If you say family matters to you, are you making time for them when work gets busy? Are you actually present when you're with them? If you say you're generous, are you giving your time and attention when there's nothing in it for you? If you want to be someone you can trust, are you keeping the promises you make to yourself when nobody else knows whether you follow through? So much of our identity becomes something we try to figure out in our heads. Kier gives us a different question: "Who am I practicing being?" You build trust with yourself by proving something consistently over time. You don't wake up one morning and suddenly become genuine, generous, present, or trustworthy. You practice showing up that way until your actions give you evidence that this is who you are. That's different from performing another character. If what you're showing on the outside doesn't match what's happening on the inside, you're still performing. The goal is to close the gap between who you say you are and how you show up. Every time you tell the truth when it would be easier to perform, you get a rep. Every time your actions match what you say matters to you, you get a rep. Every time you show up as yourself instead of who you think someone else wants you to be, you get a rep. Practice being yourself this week. If you want to fully understand how to get unstuck, listen to the full conversation with Kier Gaines here. ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/7qh7h8h9n2ngr6izh6/aHR0cHM6Ly9ncmVhdG5lc3MubG5rLnRvLzE5NzhOTA== ) Thank you for being here, Lewis -->Check Out The Full Episode ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/owhkhqhwqmqz2nsvhr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj04T2hVbGFIZTNPdyZsaXN0PVBMTUc1dzIyUE9lZXlrcU9OYmZHaTAwbTRBcXhobnptV2M= ) Check Out The Full Episode ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/owhkhqhwqmqz2nsvhr/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vd2F0Y2g_dj04T2hVbGFIZTNPdyZsaXN0PVBMTUc1dzIyUE9lZXlrcU9OYmZHaTAwbTRBcXhobnptV2M= ) P.S. Have you checked out my Greatness Playbook on Manifestation ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/z2hghnhel2lgqrbph0/aHR0cHM6Ly9sZXdpc2hvd2VzLmNvbS90Z3BtYW5pZmVzdG5s )? It's five practical ways to turn what you want into what you live. ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/p8heh9h4qwqvnlsqh3/aHR0cHM6Ly9sZXdpc2hvd2VzLmNvbS9jb250YWN0Lw== ) BECOME PART OF OUR COMMUNITY ---------------------------- ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/x0hph6heqvqg57u5hl/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cueW91dHViZS5jb20vbGV3aXNob3dlcw== ) ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/6qheh8hl989qmptohk/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuaW5zdGFncmFtLmNvbS9sZXdpc2hvd2VzLw== ) ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/kkhmh6hnx0x7klilh7/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cuZmFjZWJvb2suY29tL2xld2lzaG93ZXM= ) ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/25h2hoh3mpm5k4a3h4/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubGlua2VkaW4uY29tL2luL2xld2lzaG93ZXMv ) ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/g3hnh5hmq8qv4xarh9/aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cudGlrdG9rLmNvbS9AbGV3aXM= ) ( https://8dcd8015.click.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6/9qhzhnhd5v57o4a9h3/aHR0cHM6Ly90d2l0dGVyLmNvbS9sZXdpc2hvd2Vz ) Greatness Media, 5200 Lankershim Blvd, North Hollywood, CA 91601 Manage preferences ( https://preferences.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6 )• Unsubscribe ( https://8dcd8015.unsubscribe.convertkit-mail4.com/zlu7kq3lw0cnhkzk3v8uphw2m2qk9c6h94qk6 ) 1f:["$","article",null,{"className":"min-w-0 flex-1 overflow-hidden","aria-label":"🤨 Who Are You When You Stop Performing?","children":[["$","$L25",null,{"emailId":"3c7e7623-bcaf-447b-9026-c0e3c2432983"}],["$","$L26",null,{"email":{"id":"3c7e7623-bcaf-447b-9026-c0e3c2432983","subject":"🤨 Who Are You When You Stop Performing?","previewText":"Growing up, I was really good at becoming who I thought other people needed me to be.\n\nTo fit in, to belong, to perform how I thought I should. 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