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ISSUE 170

The Value of Lived Experience

For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing them.
Aristotle

Hi dear friend!

I work with words for a living, which means I spend a lot of my days surrounded by ideas. Someone’s advice, research that backs up our journals, never-ending list of inspiring books, quotes that are the heart of Intelligent Change tools, proven frameworks, things worth highlighting and things worth remembering.

And still, knowing something has never guaranteed that I’ll actually live by it. I know that worrying won’t change an outcome. I still worry. I know difficult conversations rarely improve while you avoid them. I have still rehearsed one for weeks instead of having it. I know that confidence comes after doing the uncomfortable thing, not before. And yet I would very much like the confidence first, please.

Sometimes I wonder whether searching for another explanation is simply easier than finding out for myself. And this is what I want to talk to you about this week.

Veronica Joce,
Senior Editor at Intelligent Change

Mark Your Calendar

Are you in London or Brighton? Come say hello.

If you’re nearby, our Intelligent Change pop-up is happening at Papersmiths Chelsea and Brighton until September 13. Come by, leave a thought for someone you may never meet, take one home with you, and explore the new Stoic Journal. Plus: Mimi Ikonn, our co-founder, and I will be at Papersmiths Chelsea next Saturday for a special meet & greet.

🗓️ Saturday, 12 September, 12-1pm
📍 Papersmiths Chelsea, London
170 Pavilion Road, SW1X 0AW

Ideas for Reflection

How does something you know become something you are?

There are two ways of knowing something:
1. being told,
2. finding out.

You can be told that heartbreak passes. That’s different from waking up one morning and realizing you haven’t thought about them. You can read that saying no will not make you a bad person. That’s different from saying it, sitting through the guilt, and discovering that the world did not end like you imagined. You can save a hundred posts about courage. That’s different from walking into the room with your voice shaking and speaking anyway.

Knowledge gives you the idea. Lived experience gives you the evidence. And lived experience changes us in a way information rarely can.

We have never had easier access to good advice. Want to become more confident? There are five steps for that. Build better habits? There is a framework, and it’s a good one. Communicate better, sleep better, manage your money, become more productive, improve your relationships… Someone, somewhere, has already made you a checklist. And that is a wonderful thing.

But information has an interesting limitation: understanding the answer is not the same as having lived it. James Clear makes a simple distinction in Atomic Habits: researching the best running shoes or joining a gym can feel productive, but neither is the same thing as actually exercising. Preparation has value, yes. Eventually, however, something has to happen in the real world.

The same is true of almost everything we learn about ourselves.

Information is simple in one important way. It can take years to study, hours or days to find the right answer, or real effort to understand and remember it, but it still remains information.

Experience asks you to try something without knowing exactly how it will go. It comes with consequences, risk, and the very thing we try so hard to avoid: mistakes.

In middle school, after spelling or math tests, I had to do something called, literally, work on mistakes. The teacher would circle or underline every wrong answer in red ink, and my task was to understand what the mistake was, learn from it, and rewrite it so I would remember it next time. It was such a simple exercise, but the metaphor stayed with me.

Maybe personal growth works in a similar way.

We may imagine it’s: I know → I become.

But it is usually closer to: I know → I remember → I practice → I become.

And that middle is where lived experience happens: awkward first attempts, mistakes, forgetting, trying again, and discovering what an idea looks like when it has to fit your actual life.

Wisdom accumulates mileage. Eventually, you no longer know something because you read it somewhere. You have your own experience, your own proof.

So, let me ask you: what are you learning in real time? Not from a book, but from living through it?

Let’s keep talking. Leave your question here

In The Spotlight

Philosophy is beautiful, but real life is the ultimate test

Academia is romanticized. So is philosophy – underlined passages, marginal notes, beautifully phrased ideas about courage, control, mortality, perspective. But wisdom only becomes practical when it meets real life. When someone disappoints you. When plans fall apart. When you have to wait. When you know the right thing in theory and still struggle to do it.

That’s what the Stoic Journal is built around. Each morning gives you a timeless lesson to sit with, and each evening asks what happened when that lesson met your actual day. Over 60 days, the philosophy becomes less something you admire and more something you’ve tested, questioned, practiced, and made your own.

Give wisdom somewhere to happen →

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2a:T26a6,[SHOP](https://www.intelligentchange.com/collections) [NEW ARRIVALS](https://www.intelligentchange.com/collections/new) [READ](https://www.intelligentchange.com/blogs/read) ISSUE 170 The Value of Lived Experience For the things we have to learn before we can do them, we learn by doing th= em. Aristotle Hi dear friend! I work with words for a living, which means I spend a lot of my days surrou= nded by ideas. Someone=E2=80=99s advice, research that backs up [our journa= ls](https://www.intelligentchange.com/products/the-five-minute-journal), ne= ver-ending list of=C2=A0[inspiring books](https://www.intelligentchange.com= /products/sappymedroughdraft), [quotes](https://www.intelligentchange.com/c= ollections/mindful-affirmations/products/reminders-collection-set) that are= the heart of Intelligent Change tools, proven [frameworks](https://www.int= elligentchange.com/collections/productivity/products/productivity-planner),= things worth highlighting and things worth remembering. And still, knowing something has never guaranteed that I=E2=80=99ll actuall= y live by it. I know that worrying won=E2=80=99t change an outcome. I still= worry. I know difficult conversations rarely improve while you avoid them.= I have still rehearsed one for weeks instead of having it. I know that con= fidence comes after doing the uncomfortable thing, not before. And yet I wo= uld very much like the confidence first, please. Sometimes I wonder whether searching for another explanation is simply easi= er than finding out for myself. And this is what I want to talk to you abou= t this week. Veronica Joce, Senior Editor at Intelligent Change Mark Your Calendar Are you in London or Brighton? Come say hello. =E2=80=8BIf you=E2=80=99re nearby, our Intelligent Change pop-up is happeni= ng at [Papersmiths](https://www.papersmiths.co.uk/search?options%5Bprefix%5= D=3Dlast&q=3DIntelligent+Change)=C2=A0Chelsea and Brighton until September = 13. Come by, leave a thought for someone you may never meet, take one home = with you, and explore the new [Stoic Journal.](https://www.intelligentchang= e.com/collections/journals/products/the-stoic-journal)=C2=A0Plus: [Mimi Iko= nn](https://www.instagram.com/mimiikonn), our co-founder, and I will be at = Papersmiths Chelsea next Saturday for a special meet & greet.=E2=80=8B =F0=9F=97=93=EF=B8=8F Saturday, 12 September, 12-1pm =F0=9F=93=8D Papersmiths Chelsea, London 170 Pavilion Road, SW1X 0AW Ideas for Reflection How does something you know become something you are? There are two ways of knowing something: 1. being told, 2. finding out. You can be told that [heartbreak](https://www.intelligentchange.com/collect= ions/journals/products/becoming-a-warrior-journal) passes. That=E2=80=99s d= ifferent from waking up one morning and realizing you haven=E2=80=99t thoug= ht about them. You can read that saying no will not make you a bad person. = That=E2=80=99s different from saying it, sitting through the guilt, and dis= covering that the world did not end like you imagined. You can save a hundr= ed posts about [courage.](https://www.intelligentchange.com/collections/min= dful-affirmations/products/stoic-quote-cards)=C2=A0That=E2=80=99s different= from walking into the room with your voice shaking and speaking anyway. Knowledge gives you the idea. Lived experience gives you the evidence. And = lived experience changes us in a way information rarely can. We have never had easier access to good advice. Want to [become more confid= ent](https://www.intelligentchange.com/collections/mindful-affirmations/pro= ducts/mindful-affirmations)? There are five steps for that. [Build better h= abits](https://www.intelligentchange.com/collections/journals/products/five= -minute-journal-fit)? There is a [framework](https://www.intelligentchange.= com/collections/digital-products/products/ultimate-digital-reflection-bundl= e), and it=E2=80=99s a good one. [Communicate better](https://www.intellige= ntchange.com/collections/play/products/get-closer), [sleep better](https://= www.intelligentchange.com/products/the-five-minute-journal-calm), [manage y= our money](https://www.intelligentchange.com/collections/mindful-affirmatio= ns/products/mindful-affirmations-finance), [become more productive](https:/= /www.intelligentchange.com/collections/productivity/products/quarterly-prod= uctivity-planner), [improve your relationships](https://www.intelligentchan= ge.com/collections/journals/products/life-designer-journal-for-couples)=E2= =80=A6 Someone, somewhere, has already made you a [checklist](https://www.i= ntelligentchange.com/collections/journals/products/life-designer-couples-in= timacy-bundle). And that is a wonderful thing. But information has an interesting limitation: understanding the answer is = not the same as having lived it. James Clear makes a simple distinction in = Atomic Habits: researching the best running shoes or joining a gym can feel= productive, but neither is the same thing as actually exercising. Preparat= ion has value, yes. Eventually, however, [something has to happen in the re= al world.](https://www.intelligentchange.com/products/dream-life-bundle) The same is true of almost everything we learn about ourselves. Information is simple in one important way. It can take years to study, hou= rs or days to find the right answer, or real effort to understand and remem= ber it, but it still remains information. Experience asks you to try something without knowing exactly how it will go= . It comes with consequences, risk, and the very thing we try so hard to av= oid: mistakes. In middle school, after spelling or math tests, I had to do something calle= d, literally, work on mistakes. The teacher would circle or underline every= wrong answer in red ink, and my task was to understand what the mistake wa= s, learn from it, and rewrite it so I would remember it next time. It was s= uch a simple exercise, but the metaphor stayed with me. Maybe personal growth works in a similar way. We may imagine it=E2=80=99s: I know =E2=86=92 I become. But it is usually closer to: I know =E2=86=92 I remember =E2=86=92 I practi= ce =E2=86=92 I become. And that middle is where lived experience happens: awkward first attempts, = mistakes, forgetting, trying again, and discovering what an idea looks like= when it has to fit your actual life. Wisdom accumulates mileage. Eventually, you no longer know something becaus= e you read it somewhere. You have [your own experience](https://www.intelli= gentchange.com/collections/journals/products/the-stoic-journal), [your own = proof.](https://www.intelligentchange.com/collections/bundles/products/inte= lligent-duo-bundle) So, let me ask you: what are you learning in real time? Not from a book, bu= t from living through it? [Let=E2=80=99s keep talking. Leave your question here](https://intelligentc= hange.typeform.com/ask-veronica) In The Spotlight Philosophy is beautiful, but real life is the ultimate test https://www.intelligentchange.com/collections/bundles/products/stoic-bundle Academia is romanticized. So is [philosophy](https://www.intelligentchange.= com/collections/bundles/products/stoic-bundle) =E2=80=93 underlined passage= s, marginal notes, beautifully phrased ideas about courage, control, mortal= ity, perspective.=C2=A0But wisdom only becomes practical when it meets real= life.=C2=A0When someone disappoints you. When plans fall apart. When you h= ave to wait. When you know the right thing in theory and still struggle to = do it.=E2=80=8BThat=E2=80=99s what the [Stoic Journal](https://www.intellig= entchange.com/collections/journals/products/the-stoic-journal) is built aro= und. Each morning gives you a [timeless lesson](https://www.intelligentchan= ge.com/collections/mindful-affirmations/products/stoic-quote-cards) to sit = with, and each evening asks what happened when that lesson met your actual = day. Over 60 days, the philosophy becomes less something you admire and mor= e something you=E2=80=99ve tested, questioned, practiced, and made your own= . [Give wisdom somewhere to happen =E2=86=92](https://www.intelligentchange.c= om/collections/journals/products/the-stoic-journal) https://www.intelligentchange.com/collections Enjoyed this newsletter? Send it to a friend. Was Intelligent Weekly forwarded to you from a friend? If so, you can [sign= up for more here.](https://manage.kmail-lists.com/subscriptions/subscribe?= a=3DnFEe3R&g=3DVU8Fit) Live a full life. Leave a small footprint. Sustainable routines begin with = sustainable practices. We use only natural, recycled, and biodegradable mat= erials and are committed to donating a portion of our profits, products, an= d time to causes around the world.=C2=A0 No longer want to receive these emails? 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